The ones left behind are often plagued by unanswered questions and unrelenting emotions ranging from anger to guilt.

'If only they'd said something. If only I had...'

No amount of wishful thinking can turn back time...but creating a culture where people feel more empowered to connect and have those uncomfortable conversations with each other could impact on the future.

This is the goal of the worldwide RUOK? movement.

And a dedicated bunch of locals has been pioneering the cause here in our little corner of the world.

Gemma Rostron, Elisse Pope and Danny 'Doot' Doolan were moved to action after suicide and mental illness crept into their inner worlds.

After depression and anxiety took a strangle-hold on her, Gemma learned first-hand what it is that drives people to that place of no return.

Mercifully, she did return. And it propelled her to take up the baton for RUOK? in the 2017 City2Surf.

The next year she rounded up 15 others to do the same. Elisse and Danny were two of those who needed to answer the call to action.

"This Valley's been rocked over the last three or four years - it's been terrible," Danny said.

"I had a few mates who committed suicide. It's always the people you thought nothing was wrong with - they're the ones."

"And it got me thinking that I should do something about this."

Elisse was also keen to help after losing her best friend to suicide nearly three years ago.

"It changes your life. You just think for the rest of your life 'could I have done something?'," she said.

"And we had a really open relationship. She'd always tell me when she was feeling a bit shitty. But obviously when it got bad she just shut down."

The team smashed their fundraising goal of $10,000 in 2018 which turned the heads of the RUOK? big wigs.

"This just doesn't often happen in small communities," CEO Katherine Newton said when she met with Elisse and Gemma recently.

But for Elisse, Doot, and Gemma, it's not so much the fundraising they're most proud of, but the awareness raising.

"I've got mates now that reach out that may have never done so before," Danny said.

Strangers now approach them in the street to have a chat about their lives and what ails them because of the visibility of last year's campaign.

With the path to professional help being mired in bureaucratic hurdles, a chronic lack of staff, and wait times which can seem like an eternity, it's clear that being an ear to those who need one is a lifeline in our community.

Gemma was considering taking a step back this year, but was promptly told by her daughter that she "can't not do it, you're the RUOK? lady" - a label which gives her an immense sense of self-worth.

Their campaign resonated with so many in our Valley that local businesses have been seeking them out to donate to this year.

"People have approached us with over $3000 worth of prizes," Elisse said.

The team is holding a group fundraiser this Saturday evening at the Bowra Hotel where those prizes will be raffled off in the hopes of raising $20,000 to donate to suicide prevention.

And they now have 50 runners on board for the 2019 City2Surf on August 11.

Plus for the first time this weekend junior sports clubs around the Valley will be turning yellow, with donation buckets at the ready and that very important question on everyone's lips.

Elisse is particularly pleased to get that conversation started after the shock loss of two bright young students at her son's school this year: "I always tell my son now to just check in with his friends."

While Headspace has come on board in a big way in our region, having a local RUOK? campaign helps to fill in many of the gaps, and normalise the act of sharing your worries with a mate.

"It helps knowing there is someone there to have a yarn to, even if you don't have the chat," Danny said.

In a small community like ours, that presence could make all the difference.

If you can't make it to the weekend's fundraising events but would like to donate, you can contact Elisse on 0438 686 042, Danny on 0412 093 223 or Gemma on 0421 031 418.

The RUOK? website offers a step by step guide on how to offer help by asking 'Are you ok?'

Advice from the website outlines how by starting a conversation and commenting on the changes you've noticed, you could help that family member, friend or workmate open up.

If they say they are not ok, you can follow steps to show them they're supported and help them find strategies to better manage the load. If they are ok, that person will know you're someone who cares enough to ask.

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