I read all the books. I surfed all the online forums. I listened to every person who told me what it would be like. But at the very real risk of putting pen to one of the most oft-uttered cliches around - nothing prepared me for the totally mind-melting moment I held my baby for the first time at 1.30am on December 19.
That very real and precocious bundle and I spent an eternity ensconsed in each other's weary gazes, floating in the birthing pool at Macksville Hospital and slowly coming to grips with our brand new existence.
Though it must have been after about 15 minutes realtime when I abruptly snapped myself out of it upon realisation that Loui and I had clean forgotten to do the ritual 'check between the legs' bit.
There she was. Our daughter. Phoenix Rosa. Six pounds six-worth of rambunctious, vernix-covered energyMel Davis
… and already the cause of hot and free-flowing male tears.
Loui will tell you she is named after his prize Phoenix oyster mushrooms. But I've always been a sucker for a metaphor …
Loui and I found each other at our respective rock-bottom moments. And together we rose from the ashes of our former lives and soared to greener pastures here in the Nambucca Valley. She is the zenith of this rebirth - for it feels like we couldn't possibly get any higher than this.
All three of us are getting along smashingly well. Loui's declarations of love have now slowed down to a more respectable hourly incantation.
But both parents are still at that nauseating stage where every new expression or grunt (and there are millions of them) is cause for animated comment. Still, I am proud of my personal restraint on social media.
We will be laying low for another few weeks until Phoenix has built up her immunity to real life. But she's already made it clear that she will be up for all the introductions and cuddles very soon. As will I. So don't be a stranger!
Before I flitter away into my warm baby bliss cocoon again, I would like to make mention of the outstanding care we received at the hands of Macksville Hospital's expert midwifery posse.
Their compassion went above and beyond the usual duty of care requirements, even when three babes decided to make their big entrance within 24 hours of each other.
The sincerity and geniality with which our local midwives approach their roles allowed our special moment to be all the more special. And their Dr Seuss-themed Christmas decorations were on point.
How lucky are we to have such a dedicated league of legends to service our little Valley.