Most people (men included) feel stuck, useless, scared, horribly lonely, or like they’re not coping at least once in their lives.
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And yet, how many of us really let people around us know what’s really going on inside when we’re feeling like that?
How many of you blokes out there have given a fake excuse like the flu or gastro to get out of work or a social interaction when the reality is that you just couldn’t bear to face the outside world that day?
For Goannas Rugby Union president Matt Allom, the harsh reality of mental illness hit him like a ton of bricks last November when his best mate and long-time Goanna, Cameron Townley, took his own life.
“Camo was everyone’s best mate – he was this six-foot-tall 140kg old-school farm lad who’d greet you at the pub with a smile and a beer,” Matt said.
“But he obviously had some demons, and he just never talked about them to anyone.
“It’s taken me a while to get to the point that I can talk about him like this.
But I want to start the ball rolling to get this message out there – we need to start having the conversation about mental health.
“I work at the precast yard out at Macksville, and stats tell me that out of the 100 or so guys that work there, 20 to 30 of them would be suffering – but noone says anything.”
The stoic nature of traditional bloke culture is killing our boys slowly and silently.
And next Saturday, the Goannas will host a cross-code footy fun-day in the hopes of chipping away at the lethal stigma that dogs mental health.
“We wanted to get all the footy clubs in the Valley to participate to get the word out,” Matt said.
He’s even made up his own hashtag for the occasion: #UniteTheValley.
On top of raising awareness, Matt hopes the day will raise some much needed funds for another young local who’s had his own battles with despair.
Bowra boy Scotty Doolan broke nearly every bone in his body and was left a paraplegic after a devastating motorbike accident a decade ago.
But he didn’t just suffer physically, it was a huge mental blow when he was smacked in the face with the reality of being wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life.
But he fought valiantly through the darkness and this March, with the help of a group of empathic Newcastle lads and their company, Scotty hopes to overcome all adversity to be the first paraplegic athlete to climb 18,192 ft of Mt Everest.
Watch Scotty’s story here:
Apexgen is the lifestyle company helping Scotty to #RiseAboveDoubt and was “created to raise awareness and give support to those living with adversity and mental illness”.
Their target for the trek is $70,000, and Matt is hoping the Camo Townley Memorial Day will help them make up at least $3000 of that goal.
“Scotty loves what we’re doing, he’s totally behind us,” Matt said.
Raising the money is the easy bit – climbing Mt Everest in a wheelchair with his hands will be the real challenge.
There’ll be three 40 minute games on the day: the Roosters Juniors will battle it out with the Bowra Tigers in the first match, then the Roosters seniors will face off against the Sea Eagles in a league-tag game, and finally the current Goannas team will come up against the Barbarians: a motley crew of past players, expats and possibly some Hastings Valley and Kempsey players.
Each team has donated $200 for the day, and there’ll be a donation bucket being passed around the field.
The canteen and bar will be open all day from 12pm and there’ll be a barbecue lunch, with all proceeds going towards the cause.
There’s also some great prizes to be won from a raffle on the day.
So book in next Saturday, February 10, from 12pm, at the Bowra footy fields for a great community sports day and help the Goanna’s remember one of their fallen brothers, unite the Valley, start a real conversation about mental health, and aid an inspirational Bowra boy in showing the world that it’s possible to rise above doubt.
For more information about ApexGen Lifestyle or to donate to Scotty’s trek, visit https://www.apexgenlifestyle.com/