I cannot get away with changing the subject that easily so with Bazza having done a runner I reluctantly face the grim statistics.

Goannas gave away almost 70kgs in the pack, and their lack of training and match fitness meant they were always going to do it tough up against a Coffs side that had smashed their other Coffs team last Friday.

The Bowra Hotel match report this week comes courtesy of some hidden microphones placed around the ground and Mr Fabulous’ beer-stained notebook.

Just like Mr Fabulous, this is not pretty. Forwards coughing up possession after one tackle, players arguing with the referee, silly penalties when we can least afford them. Shoulder charges are illegal in Rugby Union boys.

But there was some good news. Tim Wilson, the Players’ Player showed that he is maturing into a complete rugby player. And when are they going to wake up to his place-kicking ability and give him a go? Tim also picked up the three points in the Macksville Quality Meats best-and-fairest, two went to Michael Lewis and one to Danny Summerville.

The second half improved when Scott Fatnowna came on and had the forwards coordinating and using some technique in the scrums. Against the well-drilled, professional Crushers’ pack, we won only one line-out all day.

Coffs have a very professional approach that saw them timing their replacements with military efficiency, running four on and off like a well-oiled machine time and time again.

Coffs, while lacking the spirit of the local side, has a very organised approach to the game that leaves little to chance and this comes from many areas... but especially plenty of training and drilling.

Michael Lewis again showed that you don’t have to have age or weight to produce a first class performance, giving me a chance to remind you all that ‘if you are good enough, you are old enough’.